The Miners League Master Binder: A Guide to Streamlining Your Home’s Systems

I really thought it was the isolation of a global shut down brought on by a pandemic… or the heaviness of bringing an infant home with six different heart diagnoses and her name written on a heart transplant waiting list… or the pressure of so many different symptoms to monitor, medications to give, milestones to catch up with… but when I experienced the same anxiety as I left my career all over again and brought home a healthy newborn five years later, I knew there was something I was missing.

Yes, twice now I’ve had the opportunity to leave full time work in order to enter into seasons of stay at home motherhood. I imagine this is rare- that most people would enter their season and then stay home through the birth of ALL their children, rather than going through the back and forth. When child loss ripped the role of motherhood from my hands, however, home was one of the last places I wanted to be. Our earliest days home together had been lonely and hard but, over the years, we had built something so full of life, love, and purpose. Now it was gone again, and I didn’t want to sit alone in what once was. After some time to grieve, we became pregnant again and I believed that the birth of this child was all it would take to get us right back to where we’d left off. I had no idea that leaving a full time job and coming back to the stillness of home would leave me having to work through the overwhelm of days suddenly without structure, all over again.

For many of us stay at home mothers, making the decision to be home was the first time that there were suddenly no deadlines, no authority figures, no daily schedules to drive our days. If you happened to be in the field of education, like I was, you know how especially weird this feels when your work days are so scheduled out that not even transition time or bathroom breaks are included. (Seriously- every time I go for an ultrasound, the technician makes a comment about how full my bladder is and asks if I need to step out for a moment and come back. I always reply that I didn’t even know I had to go. My bladder is that trained (numb?) from years of  a teaching schedule.)  One day you’re put together and professional. You wake up and put on make-up and dress pants and head out the door to people who wait for you. You’re a part of important committees and conversations, and you’re trusted with tasks that others are counting on. You’re a part of something… you belong somewhere. And then the next day, it doesn’t matter if you stay in pajamas until noon. No one is expecting you anywhere. The days all run together and you’ve got no one to talk to besides the sweetest baby who sleeps more hours than not. Even as they get older and are awake more often, you have the thought that you really should get out of the house but, down an income and with all your friends busy at work, where do you go?

This is the struggle of so many moms I know. Some, strong Type A’s, struggle to stay focused on the purpose available in this slower pace. Some rush back to work before giving themselves enough time to settle in and see opportunity here. Others, more social than accomplished or organized, become anxious with all the time alone. They’re suddenly aware of thoughts and feelings that they have never had to sit with before, and they don’t know what to do with them. It’s normal to fall into binging television shows and scrolling social media with this new freedom- at least at first- but there comes a point when you realize you can’t just fumble through your days like this anymore. You need structure, but you don’t know where to start.

A Strong Theology of Home Informs Its Structure

Whether you realize it yet or not, this is the beginning of something beautiful. It’s the moment you begin to build a theology of home. Theology is simply the study of God’s nature, so a theology of home is an understanding of how we might steward our homes to glorify God and represent His nature. Our homes have the opportunity to become havens both for our families who live within them and for the ones who simply stop to visit them. They can literally become meeting places with God- places for us to practice the hospitality of the Holy Spirit and for others to experience being fully known and unconditionally loved. Have you ever walked into someone’s home and immediately felt at peace? Like you could take your shoes off, curl up under a blanket on their couch, and genuinely be yourself? This is the presence of God within them! How powerful is it for our children to have the privilege of growing up in a sanctuary like this?

A strong theology of home empowers us to view our homes as the center of our family’s discipleship too.  The systems and structure we create allow us to better serve and instruct those within our four walls. On average, children spend less than 50-100 hours per year in a children’s ministry. This is about an hour a week. They spend about 1,260 hours a year in school, or 7 hours a day for 180 days. Yet, they are home for roughly 3,000 hours annually. This number is even higher for families of stay at home or homeschooling mothers. This means we have more than 30 times the amount of opportunities to influence our children’s faith than church leaders in a typical year, if we’re intentional with them. Every day tasks become opportunities to train our children well, then. Our homes form the foundation of our children’s faith, so we can launch them out into the world with greater intimacy with the Father, and a greater confidence and clarity of purpose for themselves.

Once we catch the vision for what God intends our homes to become, we can put our whole hearts into even the long days or mundane chores. We stop fumbling through our days and find purpose to start building a sanctuary for our loved ones, bringing in systems and structure to serve them well.

After enduring this abrupt transition from work to home twice, with two daughters in wildly different circumstances, God has led me to the structure that works for my family.

Now, this is the stay-at-home mom hack that enables me to wake up every day full of passionate anticipation for the day ahead…

It’s the system that helps me to be more present with my children, more intentional about their needs, more organized with my time, more productive in my home, involved in both the community events and the at-home activities for special occasions that I want to prioritize, and able to take on both a part time job to help bring in a small income for my family and a personal passion project (this blog!) as a little something for myself around the the selfless days of motherhood.

It’s my “Miners League Master Binder.”

This binder is the system by which I streamline my days so that I always know what I’m supposed to be focused on and can show up, ready to give all of myself, instead of spinning wondering where I’m supposed to be next.

These are the sections within my binder currently…

Our Daily Rhythm

When Savannah was around seven or eight months old, I studied her schedule for at least a week before I finally typed it up and printed it out. I slid it in a page protector and my little Type A heart swooned. And then the next day, none of it went anything like I’d written down. I sighed and said to myself we’d get back on track the next day. Except we didn’t. Her schedule had already changed again, and I was the first time mom determined- and yet delusional- to capture it.

Since then, I’ve learned that routines support life, but schedules try to control it. One will give life to your days. The other will suck the life out of you as you try to beat yourself into submission to it.

Now I try to create a daily rhythm or flow chart that we can stick by on the days we are home or that we can fall right back into when we come home after scheduled outings. On the days we have plans outside of the house, I rest knowing that every rhythm scheduled for those overlapping morning hours are ones that I’m okay with missing occasionally. We’ll get to them the next day we’re home. On this rhythm chart, there are no exact times- only a general order to our day. Some of these events happen around the same time each day- like meals and naps- but removing the time frame also removes a lot of pressure for me.

As I create the rhythm chart, I pay attention to the natural times in our day when we are both feeling sluggish and in need of a slower, less structured activity. I think about how to build values or routines I want to prioritize into rhythms we already have. I also strategize the moments I need to step away ahead of time so I don’t have to listen to the gaslighting of mom guilt… moments when I need to complete an independent task and have Charlie engaged in her own task.

In this season (and I want to mention that this does change according to the seasons so it’s okay to readjust), this is the rhythm we follow:

Only Charlie’s rhythms are recorded on our chart, but my day begins before she wakes.

My Morning Rhythm

• Bible Study: Justin wakes up for work at 5:30 am and I ask him to turn the closet light on as he goes to shower so I can begin to stir. I sit up and pull my Bible over to bed and begin my morning devotional work for our Community Bible Study group which meets on Tuesday mornings. (Click here to find a class in your area!)

(With small children, it’s wise to create a back up plan for interruptions so you don’t become bitter. When Savannah was small and she would wake up during this time, I had a basket of all her own devotional materials for her to engage with while I read my Bible. Bible themed board books, coloring books, water color workbooks, puzzles, toys, etc. She was only allowed to access that basket during my Bible time, which kept the activities inside exciting for longer periods of time.)

• Work Out: After my Bible study, I try to fit in a work out of some kind. Honestly, this doesn’t always happen. Sometimes God sends me on a scavenger hunt through His Word and I use all my time to understand what He’s speaking rather than getting to the work out. I’m trying to get better about making it a priority, but I also don’t stress it since my days are pretty active with a toddler. (These are the free pregnancy workout plans recommended to me by a friend- and the instructor loves Jesus! Although that didn’t stop her from kicking my butt.)
• Get Dressed & Ready For The Day: Finally, I begin my morning skincare routine and get dressed for the day ahead of Charlie waking up. With any remaining time, I might start the chore of the day or get breakfast started. I don’t tend to wake her up unless we have somewhere to be or she’s sleeping unusually late. I think this is one of the best blessings of being a stay at home mom. My daughter can get all the rest she needs. There’s no reason for me to rush her.

Once Charlie Wakes

• Charlie gets up and dressed, brushes her teeth, and together we head downstairs for breakfast. If we didn’t live in a two story home, I might let us lounge in our pajamas for a little bit in the mornings before wandering back to the bedrooms to get dressed for the day, but it’s just too big an effort to be up and down the stairs multiple times in one morning.
• Breakfast + Devotions: I put on worship music and Charlie either plays independently or helps me prepare breakfast from the kitchen stool. Once we sit to eat together, we build biblical foundations into our breakfast time. I read a devotional while Charlie eats. For now, it’s a short devotional just for me, but soon I’ll start sharing children’s devotionals with her during this time. Time around the table is a great opportunity to build in intentional conversations and stories.
• I clean up breakfast, unload the dishwasher from the day before, and begin the chore of the day (depending on what it is that day) while Charlie plays independently. Then we either leave the house for our scheduled outing or move to the toddler table together while the soft early morning sunlight slips in through the blinds and leaves stripes across the wall. My favorite.
• Fine Motor Play or Craft: If we’re not planning to leave the house that day, I will have a fine motor task or craft set out the night before. Not only is everything able to be prepared ahead of time, but I find that if you use the hours when your child is fresh, the whole experience tends to be a little calmer. That’s a big deal when you’re working with messy materials like sensory bins, stamps, or paints. I’m going to have a whole post on sensory bins soon, but for now you can read a little more about how I set those up on my recent post: Keeping My Restaurants Real: A Newsletter of Sorts. These fine motor activities are picked according to the current developmental milestones my daughter is working on, and the crafts are often holiday-specific.
• Outside Play or Scheduled Outing: A chance to get up, explore, and stretch those little legs after sitting at the toddler table and being so focused.
• Tech Time + Lunch Prep: Charlie doesn’t get any screen time at the moment, but I’m realistic enough to know that my desire to hold out until 2 years old is likely going to be cut short when she gets a newborn brother in just a few weeks. So, although she’s currently playing independently or helping me prepare lunch, I just went ahead and labeled this time “tech time.” I also prepared curated Youtube playlists with a few Bible songs, nursery rhymes and academic skills I know she is ready for. There is a playlist for each day of the week for the sake of variety, and the playlists are no more than 15-20 minutes so I can still monitor screen time. Everything is pre-screened and approved by me, which removes a lot of the mom guilt about placing her in front of the TV. It’s also a good time for her to sit still, cool down, and sip water ahead of lunch.
• Lunch + Virtues: More intentional conversations built into meal time. Currently, Charlie is loving the Training Tiny Hearts Series by Abbey Wedgeworth. These books allow me to talk to her about different expected behaviors and her high chair keeps her contained and engaged while I act them out for better comprehension. This is only a few minutes of the meal time. For most of it, I’m sitting with her and sharing a meal.
• Nap + Chore of the Day + Personal Project: While Charlie sleeps, I complete the chore of the day (which will be outlined in the next section of the Master Binder) and then move onto the personal task I prioritize each day (also outlined in the next section.)
• Academic Skills + Books: Eventually we will get to the point where these books will be themed according to what vocabulary and background knowledge we are working to build. For now, this time is made up of 100 first words books, lift the flap books, and classics like Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. Anything to grow a love of reading together and begin developing language.
• Free Play + Dinner Prep: This is usually about the time Justin gets home from work. Charlie will play alone until he arrives, and then he may join in or sit nearby and rest a moment while he observes her playing. Since she is turning 18 months next week, we are working to model more dramatic play. One day recently, Justin prepared dinner for us so I could walk Charlie back and forth from her play kitchen to our real kitchen and help her make connections. After that, she better understood how to play with her kitchen and lasted much longer spans of time with it.
• Dinner As A Family: In the next sections, I’ll show you how I plan our meals for the week.
• Family Play or Family Walk: We try to get out and walk together as a family nightly. It’s a great way to decompress from the day, support our bodies, and keep communicating about the week ahead. Some days it doesn’t work out and, on those days, we swap the time out for something we can do all together. I imagine this will be another chunk of time Justin and I model dramatic play for Charlie. Justin gets so silly with it and goes into full character. You can find dramatic play ideas on Pinterest or printable kits on Teachers Pay Teachers. I once purchased a whole grocery store bundle that came with signs for different sections of the grocery store, cart parking, coupons, shopping lists, and more.
• Bedtime Routine: On the nights we leave for a family walk, we quickly put away the leftovers but otherwise leave the kitchen to be cleaned up when we get back. While one of us takes Charlie upstairs for the bedtime routine, the other of us stays back and does “closing shift” for the kitchen. It gets a full reset for the next day- every dish loaded in the dishwasher, counters wiped, floors swept, water pitcher and countertop filter refilled, sourdough starter fed, etc.

My Evening Routine

• Shower + Skincare: I try to get this out of the way immediately after Charlie goes down so I don’t get too tired before bed.
• Personal Project:  After this, I have a chunk of time to work on my project of the day. Usually I started this project during Charlie’s nap and I know just where to pick it back up once she’s in bed. This allows me to be thinking about it throughout the day too so that I have plenty of ideas flowing by the time I can finally sit.
• Book Before Bed: About 30 minutes before bed, I try to work my way up to the bedroom to read and wind down. This doesn’t always work out the way I want it to. Sometimes inspiration strikes and I stay up way too late working on whatever project I’ve got going on. But again, it’s another thing I’m working on, and I always enjoy getting to read a book for myself.
• Lights Out: I aim to be going to bed by 10:00 pm with Justin, though sometimes he beats me up there.

After my daily rhythm chart, I have my repeating weekly routines written out by the day of the week.

Repeating Weekly Routines

For each day of the week, I have the headings “motherhood,” “home,” and “work” listed.

Motherhood: Under the heading of motherhood, I have a bullet point with the standing weekly activity I have planned for Charlie. This could be a children’s museum day, library story time, our weekly Bible study (where she plays in the nursery), park day, pool, or splash pad. For the days of the week that have our weekly Bible study and homeschool co-op, I include 2 bullet points to have a back up option in case we ever have a week off. (I also have a separate version of this document for the “off months” from our Bible study and our homeschool co-op, when Justin’s summer schedule also changes and he’s home more often with us.) This doesn’t mean that we don’t ever have play dates, special events, errands, or rest days that shake up these plans. It just means we have a schedule to fall back on when nothing else is going on.  There’s never a day that Charlie and I are left staring at one another going, “well now what?”

Home: Under this heading is the chore of the day. When deciding which chore is best accomplished on which day of the week, I consider the “motherhood” activity on our standing weekly schedule so that I don’t assign too much to a single day. I start these chores in the morning if I can, and then aim to complete them during the first half of Charlie’s afternoon nap. Sometimes I’m still finishing them up after she’s in bed for the night, but I try my best to reserve those evening hours for me.

Mondays: Justin and I’s laundry

Tuesdays: Charlie’s (and soon Warren’s) laundry, plus wiping all tabletops and surfaces of kids toys, and taking care of any glaring messes that are not otherwise assigned to a day.

Wednesdays: Cleaning all three bathrooms

Thursdays: Cleaning the kitchen including the oven, microwave, and fridge

Fridays: Updating the budget app, paying bills, creating a meal plan for the following week, and either writing a grocery list or scheduling a grocery pick up order (depending on which store I need to go to)

Saturdays: SABBATH- no chores

Sundays: All bedding in the laundry, vacuuming and mopping, toy rotation  (something I have planned to outline in its own post soon but you can read a little about in SJ’s Story for now), and looking over the plan for the next week/discussing with Justin how we can best accommodate each other.

Does this happen perfectly every week? Absolutely not. By giving everything its own day though, I can miss a week and know it won’t build up too much before I come back to it again. It’s not like the days when a month would go by and I’d wonder when the last time I mopped my floors was. With tasks like laundry, sometimes they also spill over into the next day depending on what we’ve got going on, but we do our best.

Work: Finally, under the work heading, are the tasks I need to complete for both the homeschool co-op I currently work for, the research I do to stay on top of Charlie’s current developmental milestones (so that the activities I’m preparing for her are aligned), as well as my passion project- writing! I work on these tasks during the second half of Charlie’s nap if I can, but always after she’s in bed. One night of the week I complete all the assigned reading and lesson planning for the group of homeschoolers I teach. On another night of the week I research Charlie’s development and resources (books, toys, experiences, etc.) that are best for those ways she’s growing. The remaining nights of the week are devoted to different writing tasks including reviewing edits from the publishing team on the book I have in progress, writing blog posts, or planning future projects.

*Also on this list are a few of my repeating weekly tasks that don’t fit into these categories. For example, every Wednesday I make a Dutch Baby for breakfast so that I can leave the leftovers with my mom on Thursday when she watches Charlie and I teach at the homeschool co-op. 

After my repeating weekly routines print out comes my monthly calendar.

Monthly Calendar

The monthly calendar I use is a printable template I purchased off Teachers Pay Teachers years ago from Miss Kindergarten Love. What I love about the file is that the seller updates it every year for the current year, so you don’t have to continue buying new ones. They’re also just so cute with the monthly themed clipart.

On this calendar, I write every community event I hear of going on. My town has a local family magazine with a calendar of events in every issue. They’re free at the library, so I make sure to pick one up each month when we stop in for story time. Then, I use those events to begin filling my blank calendar. As I hear of other activities or events (even ones in neighboring towns), I write those in as well.

The days I host/attend walks with the Mom Walk Collective are also different each month so I make sure to record the dates of those. This monthly calendar then becomes my reference point as I plan out my weeks on Sunday nights. I see what still sounds interesting or what we can realistically fit in around the errands and appointments we have planned.

Right on the back of each month’s calendar, I keep notes from my research of Charlie’s current developmental skills and the activities I want to prioritize in order to practice them. I also make note of any crafts or special photoshoots I want to do. These activities get scheduled either for the days when there’s not much else going on around town or we really need to stay home and have a more restful day.

For this month’s calendar, you’ll also see that this is where I kept notes with my Easter basket ideas. 

 

On The Fly Activity Ideas

 

On the rare occasion that I’ve gone down with a cold or have to have a babysitter while I step out… Or, I suppose, on the much more anticipated occasion that a newborn joins the family and I need some time fillers… I then have lists of toddler activity ideas that I’ve printed out from Busy Toddler. These lists are meant to help me think on my feet and still give Charlie a fun day when I’m otherwise exhausted or mentally foggy. They’re full of ideas for activities I can offer Charlie with common household items and/or minimal prep work. And best of all, Susie was an early childhood educator, so I trust that there’s purpose to these activities even beyond what I can first see. They’re not activities just meant to pass the day, but activities to develop the child and enrich the childhood.

*I also keep play dough mats, dot stamp marker sheets, coloring sheets, printing/tracing sheets, cutting practice papers, sorting mats, etc printed and on hand at all times for quick access.

Developmental Trackers

This one might be a little intense for the moms who weren’t trained educators but, in the next section of the Miners League Master Binder, I love to keep track of my children’s developmental milestones. It makes me a more intentional mother. Rather than sitting on the couch and watching TV while my children play, it keeps me aware of what skills they’re in need of so that I want to join in on their play more often and support them. I can also plan experiences and conversations based on them.

When Savannah was small, I paid for the Speech Sisters’ Time To Talk Course. This course came with printable tracking sheets to record your child’s first words as well as checklists with common first words to teach. There were actually a lot of really great resources, but these are the two I use the most.

I also keep a copy of age appropriate chores for children so that I can keep checking back in and remembering new ways Charlie is ready to participate in our home. I don’t think of these tasks as chores, per say. Charlie is not responsible for completing them on her own, of course. There’s no consequence if she doesn’t help me or she’d rather do something else. To me, this list is merely a resource that helps me identify ways to keep inviting her in. In my recent newsletter post, I shared my thoughts about how children are often excluded from the very tasks that will best develop their future confidence (and competence).

Lastly, I keep a printed list of Kindergarten readiness skills to keep checking back in with over the years.

*I don’t have any in my binder currently, but this might also be where I stick a copy of the milestone questionnaires you complete at the pediatrician too.

Meal Plan

I don’t use this resource to meal plan regularly, but it exists for those times when I’m not feeling well or things have been crazy and the house goes into survival mode. It is a 12 week rotating meal plan with coordinating grocery shopping lists I created when Savannah was small. Every meal is color coded according to the level of time and difficulty it takes to prepare, so you can plan which night of the week it works out best to prepare each one. This is likely a resource I will soon offer for sale!

Justin and I are big foodies and we don’t love “having a rotation” as so many families do. Instead, I regularly save recipes we like to my Pinterest board. (Usually ones we send each other with drooling emojis over social media.) Each Friday, I move a small handful of pins from my recipe board to a private board designated for that week’s recipes. Once I move them to a separate board, it’s easier to find and access the few recipes I need when I’m ready to grocery shop for ingredients or when I’m ready to follow the recipe and cook the meal. The following Friday, I delete these recipes off the board before moving over a new handful of them.

After I choose them, I write the meals down on a dry erase board near my kitchen so I can see and remember my plan. I also use another section of this dry erase board to make note of any ingredients I need that I don’t yet have.

Any recipe we love and want to remember gets written down and added to my heirloom recipe box, to be passed down to my children one day.

Monthly and Annual Marriage Meeting Notes

The last tab within my Miners League Master Binder contains notes from both our annual and monthly marriage mission meetings.

At the start of every year, Justin and I take a day to reflect upon the previous year through the lenses of:

• marriage
• family
• career and calling
• health
• faith
• finances
• home
• God’s faithfulness

We have specific questions for each of these topics that we come to our meeting having prayed about and answered individually. We then share our answers to hear one another’s hearts, and discuss how we will make adjustments for the coming year in order to best glorify God. Sometimes this means coming together to support one another’s goals and priorities. Other times it means acknowledging a need to compromise and making the decision ahead of time, so as to avoid resentment. We set 1 year, 3 year, and 5 year goals- balancing our unique needs and desires- and then break the 1 year goals down into monthly focuses that we can check back in with throughout the year.

These monthly focuses become the agenda for our monthly marriage meetings, which usually happen on Sunday nights after Charlie is in bed and before the start of a new month. We recount God’s faithfulness through the previous month, review (and adjust, if needed) our goals for the month, outline the next month’s budget, identify the prayer needs of our children and come into agreement about any new boundaries we need to put in place, and get vulnerable about how we need to be supported by one another too. We always open up and close out these meetings in prayer because we want to make sure our priorities are aligned with God’s Word and our actions are backed by His power.

There was a time that God was still building the vision for this kind of intentionality in our marriage. I tried to communicate to Justin what these meetings could mean for our family, but he was hesitant. I got his famous one-liner over and over again: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” While we weren’t broken, we certainly weren’t operating at our highest level of unity and impact. With some time and prayer, Justin has come to see that clearer communication not only keeps us from disagreements and drama, but it also means more of his needs are heard and addressed because he has a platform to bring them to. Previously, he buried many of his needs for fear of bringing them up at the wrong time and causing more trouble than it was worth. And, truthfully, I brought my needs up too often, even interrupting peaceful family days with priorities that only felt urgent.

Now the Master Binder is the place for safe-keeping of all our family’s prayers and dreams. We bring it before us once a month and it has blessed our marriage in the last 2 years in ways that we had not experienced in the previous 10!

And that’s it! Sometimes there are different random papers that find their way into the binder… flyers from church about identifying our children’s spiritual gifts or responding to their love language, sticky notes with ideas of things I want to try with them, book recommendations for teaching different virtues.

It’s a living, active system and one that I’m constantly adapting to fit our family’s season.

 

If this system is one that could help you bring structure to your own family, tell me, what questions do you have? What are you including in your family’s binder that I’ve left out?