Keeping My Restaurants Real: A Newsletter of Sorts.

I came through the door to find Justin camped out on the couch watching the “Becoming Gordon Ramsay” series on Netflix. He patted the cushion beside him, inviting me to sit, and said, “If you can just get past the language, I think you’d really like this.” He began to explain to me that, beneath Gordon Ramsay’s tough exterior and push for excellence, is a man of integrity and depth. His work ethic has allowed him a platform to serve others and offer opportunities in ways that would not have been possible otherwise. Justin went on to tell me about Gordon Ramsay’s marriage of more than 25 years, the relationship he has with his 6 children, and the way he is praised by the winners of Hell’s Kitchen for high standards that ultimately helped them become the best versions of themselves. He truly cares for the human hearts beneath those red and blue chef jackets.

I came and laid down beside Justin, my feet across his lap, growing belly exposed, and settled in for some time together. Justin rubbed my 32-week-belly as I listened to Gordon Ramsay explain the balance he’s found in running his restaurants and becoming a television network star…

“It’s not just the restaurants keeping me busy. From a TV program to a TV ad to a podcast to a social media post…I hate it when they think that you are more interested as a TV chef than a real chef. And I balk at that because, yeah, I [expletive] worked hard in a kitchen and I work hard on TV. I didn’t sacrifice the restaurants for the TV and I haven’t used the TV to fake what’s going on in the restaurants. The restaurants are real.”

Finding myself nodding along, I realized this was confirmation. Recently I’d make the decision to back away from short form social media content and step back into slower, more soulful platforms and paces like blogging. Somewhere I can focus first on keeping my “restaurants” real.

On social media apps that seem to favor the ones posting several times weekly, I have found myself wondering how much of it all is real. How is anyone living out the words they’re writing when there hardly feels room to let the soul breathe in between them? When do these creators rest? Reflect? Have real world experiences without the pressure to run back and report it through a screen? I’m not saying that none of them do… just that it’s hard for me to imagine the majority are. I want to ensure the words I write are as real as the life lived behind them. To sit with my convictions and give myself time to grow credible in them rather than racing to create content just to stay current. I want to offer you something here that is durable, reliable, and beautiful- like those old friendships that you can come back to and be yourself within no matter how much time has passed. We don’t need to meet up online several times daily to understand and exhort one another. Not only does constant input rob us of the ability to be present with the people we’ve been entrusted, but it also breeds comparison. The Bible says that, where envy is, there also is every evil thing. I don’t want to even be tempted to participate in that.

So, instead of sharing in real time and worrying about the rat race, I’m really looking forward to sharing what I have been reading, listening to, setting my hand to, prioritizing with my children, and reflecting on or looking forward to after I’ve given myself some time with it all.

Here’s a look back at January and February….

What I’ve Been Reading:

January: Platform by Michael Hyatt

This book was written in 2012, but it’s been highly praised by established writers and publishers at many of the conferences and trainings I’ve attended. Having finally finished writing my own book, I decided it was time to lean into learning about marketing and the business side of becoming an author. I divided the pages out across the 31 days of January and enjoyed reading a short section each night before bed.

Although this book was about marketing, dividing the pages out like this taught me a lot about motherhood and home-making as well. It can be frustrating when we can’t read uninterrupted or for the spans of time we could before we were responsible for small children. It’s discouraging when a book takes us much longer to finish than we expected or we fizzle out somewhere in the middle after so long of not being able to pick it up at all. In the past, I have felt like I couldn’t pursue or learn anything for myself until my children were much older. What I’m realizing now is we just have to be more strategic with the things we want to fit in for ourselves. We might have to read through a book or work toward a personal goal at a slower pace, but we can still work toward it consistently if we break it into smaller chunks. Not only do those chunks get to be the bookends of already full, stimulating days pouring into our first ministry- our family- but they also usually translate to more progress over time than the days we were left with wide open time but no real structure.

I finished reading Platform in 31 days. Before that, I can’t tell you the last book I actually finished. It had been a while- maybe even since before Charlie was born. Now I’m using what I’ve learned to begin outlining the next focus. I also love having something to look forward to on the other side of my evening routine. Usually I’m slow to wrap up my day and head upstairs at a decent time, but knowing a book I’ve been wanting to read and learn from is waiting for me on my nightstand, I pound those stairs with a purpose and end my day strong. It feels so good to fall asleep knowing I began and ended my day with a little something just for me.

February: Every Home A Foundation by Phylicia Masonheimer

These last few years have felt a lot like whiplash. While I had Savannah home with me, I found so much purpose in motherhood. Savannah and I had a schedule both to our days and our weeks, and every day I woke up excited for what we’d get to learn or experience together that day. I lived so aware of the foundation I was laying for her, and I loved my life for it.

After losing Savannah, I realized pretty quickly that nothing I could do would bring her back, so it didn’t make a lot of sense to sit alone in an empty and quiet house missing her. I threw myself back into work just four weeks after the loss, still so completely numb. Before she was born, I had loved being a teacher and put so much of myself into my work. Now, I was showing up and stumbling through the days the best I could. I struggled to believe anything I contributed really mattered. I was cynical about the school system- seeing all of its flaws, but refusing to acknowledge its strengths. My intentions had been only to restock our emergency savings account as I prepared my mind, body, and spirit for motherhood again. All I wanted was to get back to the life I’d known and feel whole again, if at all possible.

However, my heart began to warm and soften again as I experienced the love of that school family. As they spoke words of life into the school’s socioeconomically disadvantaged and at-risk students, my soul drank them up too. I came back to life the more I heard and began to believe them. There was something so different about this school. I made it my mission to communicate this to the teachers doing such important work. I wanted to remind and encourage them that their influence mattered. Of course they already knew that. It’s what made the school stand out to start, but I liked to think I was doing my part by voicing what kind of impact it was having even on an adult.

And then, a year and a half later, Charlie was born. With her came a lot of residual grief and unresolved trauma I hadn’t expected. I felt a duty to be with her and protect her as I had with Savannah. I knew the purpose I had felt in stay at home motherhood and how I had planned deep within my heart to make it back there as soon as possible. But I had now had a year and a half to remember how painful isolation can be and to experience the joy of a work family once more. I ultimately chose to be home with Charlie, but I didn’t expect leaving the school system again to be as hard as it was. In those early days, Charlie napped a lot and we had yet to establish a lot of structure. I forgot that it was only a stage, and so I struggled to straighten out my feelings. I went back into survival mode. I missed the friends I made. I missed feeling like I belonged somewhere. I missed the structure work gave me. I prayed to God, “Why do I feel like this, when this had been my plan? Getting back here was all I wanted for so long. What happened?”

I had been yanked from work to home, back to work and home again. And with each sudden change, it took time to settle back in and take hold of the purpose available to me in that setting and season.

Stay at home motherhood has been something I’ve gotten to experience differently this time. Not only am I not doing it for the first time during a global pandemic when everything except for “essential” businesses is closed, but I don’t have all the medical factors hanging over my head now either. The experience has been so much less isolating, and I’m so grateful for that. Charlie and I have been able to build our own routines over time, and I’m finding deep purpose as I implement greater structure. Not to mention, meeting many new friends in similar seasons.

It’s significant to me that I’ve had this experience twice now, and I find myself asking God what I’m supposed to do with the wisdom I’ve gained. It’s the experience of leaving behind everything you’ve known- structure, purpose, community, belonging- to step out and build it from scratch. There are no authority figures, deadlines, or guidelines to organize you as you transition to homemaking. The lack of structure can feel like free-falling at first. You can overlook the opportunity and purpose before you because you’re desperate to get back to something that’s already well established. A simple change of perspective can change everything. When you catch the vision for what being a homemaker can offer your family, your days become fulfilling in ways that you’ve never experienced before. You can slip into bed at night, every bone in your body begging for rest, and yet feel refreshed in the depths of your soul. You can wake up remembering just where you left off the day before and ready to jump out of bed to pick up from there. It’s all about getting a glimpse of what’s possible.

That’s where this book comes in. I only just started reading this one (I think I’m on chapter 3 after taking a long pause for working on my own book revisions with the publishing team), but Phylicia Masonheimer’s philosophy of the home mirrors my own already. From the very first chapter, she highlights the way “home” is a concept important to God’s heart because it’s what He’s always desired to have with us. From Eden, to the tabernacle in the wilderness, to the temple in the promised land, to His Holy Spirit indwelling us, to the new Jersualem still to come, His priority has always been to create a place He could live in relationship with us. If we learn to see our homes as the center of true discipleship, we can step up as  intentional stewards of the very place that will end up equipping our family and friends in faith, strength, confidence, and integrity. The every day tasks will be transformed into opportunities to glorify God. The foundation of great acts of faith will be formed within our own four walls. Everyone who enters our home will be changed in the way they see the world and sent back out “on mission.”

This requires letting go of society’s ideas about the home- what HGTV deems the latest decorating trends,  the kind of host Pinterest expects you to be, the hesitation to let a home truly be lived in because Instagram and Facebook stories capture everything, the discontent in your home’s location or size that doesn’t allow you to invite anyone into it to love and serve. Phylicia makes the point that, if we’re honest, the homes we most remember feeling loved within were rarely perfect. However, the people within them saw home as a way to bless others and decided this made it worthy of their best effort.

The following chapters look to guide readers through stewarding their own homes well. I’m so eager to hold up the rhythms we’ve established and examine whether they’re serving the people I love the way they should.

With our Charlotte Mason Co-Op’s Middle & High School Students:

1. Holy War by John Bunyan
2. Character is Destiny by Russell Gough
3. Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry By Mildred D. Taylor
4. The Singing Tree by Kate Seredy
5. House of Sixty Fathers by Meindert Dejong
6. The Plutarch Project by Anne E. White

What I’ve Been Listening To:

Josh Howerton Sermons on YouTube

I only discovered Josh Howerton- senior pastor of Lakepointe Church in Dallas, Texas- recently but, already, his teachings are becoming a “go-to” as I prepare dinner or find myself with pockets of time to listen as I complete a task. He’s young, relatable, funny, and yet incredibly deep and sound in doctrine. He also has a podcast called Live Free where he dives deeper into some of the sermon topics from his Sunday services. His Instagram shares sound bites from this podcast. I’m still thinking on one he posted around Christmas time about the wise men who traveled to the nativity scene likely being the ancestors of the magi that Daniel ministered to back in Babylon.

Also, I wrote down this quote for Justin from the podcast episode he did with Pastor Josh McPherson on How To Raise Godly Children:

“You can be a dangerous man long after you’re dead and gone if your kids and your grandkids and your great grandkids are living in the slipstream of your legacy. I want to be frickin’ punching Satan in his face from the grave, baby.”

Technically this was Josh McPherson’s quote, but the whole podcast was gold.

What’s Been Keeping My Hands Busy:

Becoming a Boy Mom

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After two girls, I have been focused on stepping into my boy mom era. I’ve been embracing all things dinosaurs and outer space, researching circumcision, and decorating my first ever masculine nursery…

In January, a friend and I traveled to the Renninger’s Antiques and Collectors Extravaganza- a three day event with over 800 antique vendors that happens only three times a year. Not only was it a fun girls weekend ahead of our babies’ births, but it was also the first time we’d ever left our daughters (only two weeks apart in age). We were on a mission to gather the perfect thrift finds to make our nurseries feel cozy and welcoming.

I decided to embrace a “collected cottage” theme for Warren’s nursery. (Let’s be honest, that’s my whole home… Am I right?) Since he is being named for Justin’s grandmother (her maiden name), and will be the first boy to carry on the Miners family name in 37 years, I decided his room should be rich with legacy. I used a few heirlooms Justin had been holding onto from his family as my base and worked around those to make his room come alive. I love how it all turned out!

I forewent some of the bigger details I liked (like board and batten or wallpaper) for a simple painted accent wall because we’re trying to keep our townhome as renter-friendly as possible as we anticipate our next move. A single wall can be painted back quickly, and I can always add those other details in our next home. It’s okay if design happens in stages!

The Postpartum Freezer Meal Prep 

In my pregnancy with Charlie, I worked a summer school job and took one whole paycheck to do a massive grocery shop for a freezer meal prep day. All day, my mom and I worked to prepare 30 skillet and crockpot meals to be frozen for after birth. The day was long, but we had such a great time talking and laughing over all the chopping, and it turned out to be the best gift I could have given myself postpartum. My body healed so much faster than it did after my first birth, I avoided postpartum anxiety (significantly linked to nutritional deficiencies after the intense physical demands of pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding), and I bought myself time to soak up those precious newborn snuggles and reflect on God’s redemption. I would just stare at Charlie’s little face, so thankful to be back to motherhood.

This time, I’ve been working more slowly to stock up freezer meals over time. I made it my goal to prepare 10 meals a month from January-March by simply doubling the recipes of dinners I was already making. This time, I’ve shared most of the preparation with Charlie as she’s helped from her kitchen learning tower. I can’t say what my preference is between the two different prep styles- both felt manageable for the seasons of life I was in at the time.

Would having access to my postpartum freezer meal prep planning guide be something that could bless your families? I’m slowly building my list of the resources I want to create and the topics I want to write on, and I invite you all into the process. Please let me know what kinds of things would add value to your own motherhood journeys so I can serve you well.

Proactive Parenting & Family Health Classes

I always love small group season, but I’ve been especially enjoying this spring’s group as I soak up my last stretch of independence. Charlie is both weaned from breastfeeding and sleeping through the night but, in only another month, I’ll be back to exclusively breastfeeding and little sleep. A little one will be in tow everywhere I go again. Once a week I step away and leave DaDa to the bedtime routine to head to a cozy coffee shop in town. There I wrap my hands around a warm pistachio latte and sit among other parents committed to raising their children with a biblical foundation. As we work our way through a proactive parenting curriculum, we share both our best ideas and our most embarrassing stories, and assure one another we’re in it together. I’ve been loading up my back pockets with all kinds of ideas that will hopefully help Charlie transition well as our family dynamics change.

Once a month I’ve also been attending a family health class organized by my aunt and cousin. We gather to learn about a different health related topic, have a giveaway, and get a challenge to try implementing until the time of our next meeting. We also have a Facebook group for accountability and questions. I love my aunt’s heart for hospitality. (You might have read about it in this post: FirstFruits) I also love the way the classes are bringing the family closer together at the same time that they are equipping us all to be healthy and here to stand alongside one another longer.

What The Kids Are Loving:

*Just Charlie for now, but I couldn’t resist that heading. “The kids.” Swoon.*

Charlie is 17 months now and I have felt myself coming alive in motherhood these past few months. Don’t get me wrong, that first year with a brand new baby is precious and I better learn how to slow down and take it in every time. But I loooove the toddler years.

Twice now it’s happened that I’ve been talking to my daughters as though they understood me only to see them respond in a way that proved they really did. Maybe I said foot and they grabbed their feet. Maybe I sneezed and they said bless you. I don’t remember the exact exchange with each girl, but what I do remember is that both were moments that shook me awake. They made me realize the girls were always taking in so much more than I knew. From that point forward, I would be filled with a fresh motivation to fill our days with learning opportunities.

Sensory Bins

As we get ready to welcome Charlie’s baby brother, I have been working to prepare learning activities and sensory bins that are easy to pull out and offer Charlie one-on-one time with when the baby is sleeping.

Each bin is simple- a base of rainbow rice, dry beans, kinetic sand, sometimes even sudsy water- and themed plastic toys or wooden puzzle pieces. Depending on which academic skill I’m planning to practice with the objects inside, I’ll also throw in a small board book on that topic (be it colors, animals, letters, etc.) to help Charlie make the necessary connections. Plastic measuring cups, spoons, bowls, tongs, etc. also allow for practice of fine motor skills like scooping and transferring.

Having the bins and all different materials on hand makes it easy to switch up the experience and keep her engaged, even if we’re working on the same academic skills for several weeks.

We’re also using this time before baby brother comes to practice how to play with the sensory bins appropriately. Each time we take one out to play, we recite the three simple sensory bin rules we picked up from Susie at Busy Toddler: “No Throwing, No Dumping, No Eating.” If one of these rules are broken, we pack up the bin and try again later or the following day. There are tears the first few times and then the kids quickly catch on. This has always been so worth it to me because, within just a couple weeks to months, you have small children that are equipped to play with the messiest of materials. This buys you uninterrupted time for the tasks you need to complete without leaving a screen to babysit.

Is there still accidentally spilled rice or kinetic sand from time to time? Of course, but it’s not dumped onto the floor and that’s the difference. Plus, kids love learning to use the hand vac- another life skill that you get the opportunity to reinforce.

The Training Young Hearts Series by Abbey Wedgeworth

One of my sorority sisters brought Charlie the “What Are Ears For?” book from this series when she came into town to spend time with us. Charlie was five or six months at the time, so she was still too little to engage with the title, but I flipped through it for myself and fell in love. I added the remaining titles to an Amazon wish list that another friend ended up blessing us with for Charlie’s first birthday. Now, at 17 months old, she finds and brings these titles to me to read together… one after another after another.

Think of the series as your child’s very first character education books- but from a Christian perspective.

Every book helps children identify a different body part, the things that God created that body part to do, and the ways the enemy can tempt us to sin with it. It then compares Jesus’ earthly life and flesh to the child’s and describes how He used that body part to glorify God. There’s an emphasis on asking for forgiveness if they’ve used their body part to sin and an ending that points back to the beauty of God’s original intention for that body part. For example, the feet book addresses stomping, kicking, and running away. It ends with the encouragement: “My feet were made to carry the good news about Jesus everywhere I go!” I find myself using some of the verbiage from the book to help me correct toddler behavior, which makes for a great learning connection.

 

Oh, and if they weren’t perfect enough already… every single page also has large flaps for little fingers to lift and grasp.

You can find the books on Amazon through my link. As of writing this, they are on sale as a bundle! 

Note: As an Amazon associate, I earn commissions on qualifying purchases. 

Real World Experiences

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m a firm believer that our society has moved too far in the direction of trying to entertain children at the cost of actually equipping them. Wisdom that was passed down through generations has been lost because children were not invited to engage in processes and tasks they once were. We’re seeing this right now with regard to nutrition and cooking. Science is now confirming what our grandparents knew long ago, and shifts in both policy and common practice are being made to help us revert to the ways things were once done… eating simple unprocessed foods and avoiding added chemicals, cooking with butter and tallow rather than inflammatory oils, making fermented foods to grow a healthy gut microbiome, using every part of the animal to maximize nutritional benefits, etc.

My cousins teased my Grandma by nicknaming her “Butter”- because of the amount of it she’d use in her cooking. She had empty butter containers lining her kitchen counters which she used as makeshift Tupperware containers too. (Although we didn’t laugh too hard at that when we knew one had been freshly stocked with Tootsie Rolls!) Maybe if we’d spent a little more time in the kitchen with her, we’d have learned that butter was a staple on her grocery list because it is pretty much a superfood. It’s rich in vitamins A, D, E, and K2 which are essential for immune function, calcium absorption, and a healthy cardiovascular system. It contains CLA, a fat which is known for boosting metabolism and fighting inflammation. And, because it’s a saturated fat, it can help balance blood sugar by slowing down the digestion of carbohydrates or acting as a carrier for the nutrients in vegetables for better absorption. (Try giving a spoonful to your 6 mo+ infants before bed to help them sleep through the night!)

So often, we try to keep our children distracted with toys rather than inviting them to be a part of our every day tasks. And while I understand there are times when we just need to get something done quickly and independently, I think we could honestly admit those times are much less often than we claim. Most of the time, we don’t need to move as fast as we are, we just want to. We want to get the task done and checked off our list so we can get back to something that actually sounds fun. Inviting our children into our every day tasks not only provides the opportunity for conversations about why or how we do things the way we do- why we buy certain brand name or simple ingredient products, why we clean surfaces with disinfectants, how we create meal plans or monthly budgets- it also builds confidence into our children.

Studies have found that regularly being entrusted age-appropriate tasks is a major predictor of future confidence and life satisfaction.  

Our kids are more confident when they get to engage in conversations with us about household chores and learn responsibility, persistence, and competence. They become good stewards of their belongings because they know the work it requires to care and keep up with those belongings is part of having them at all. They’re also filled with purpose. Since the Garden of Eden, work has been something that mankind has found fulfillment in. It wasn’t part of the curse. Adam and Eve were tending the garden and exercising dominion over the animals even before that forbidden fruit ever had a bitemark in it.

When I ask Charlie if she wants to be a “helper” in the kitchen, she runs in there ahead of me, drags out that learning tower, and scrambles up it to wait and see what I’ll ask next. She helps stir the sourdough starter after it’s fed, moves chopped veggies to mixing bowls, scoops out ingredients with measuring cups, and taste tests all recipes. She loves to load the washing machine and press the “start” button once I’ve added the soap, to hold my hand as we walk to get the mail, to help me open all the blinds in the morning, and to scan my library card as we check out books.

And I love that I get so much extra time with my sweet girl because I’m not always trying to divide it between what has to get done for her and what I desire to do with her.

Handmade Holiday Crafts 

What I’m Looking Forward To:

Continuing to Build Out the Blog

As I wrap up this first newsletter, I have to admit that what I’m looking forward to is… this. This return to writing feeling like an exhale, or a natural overflow of the life I’m already living. It doesn’t feel like one more thing on the To Do list. It feels like sitting down with a friend and reflecting on all we’ve been doing and what we hear God speaking through it.

I had so much fun writing this newsletter, and I’m so eager to hear which parts of it are most interesting to you. What would you like to hear more about? What most adds value to your own motherhood experience?

Next posts will likely be a Day In The Life type post and a revelation from the Psalms on the connection between gratitude and intimacy with God, so let me know if there’s any specific questions you’d want to see answered there.

Weston A. Price Foundation Chapter Meetings

I’m looking forward to the next few months’ chapter meetings for the Weston A Price Foundation. If you’ve not heard of him, Weston A. Price was a dentist known for his research in indigenous countries. He noticed that the indigenous people had wide cheek structures and beautiful, healthy smiles. Within two generations of introducing the standard American diet to these regions, the people began to have narrower faces and crooked, cavity-infested teeth. He analyzed the similarities among each region’s cultural foods and reported the findings, emphasizing the importance of healthy fats and limiting sugar. His Foundation hosts local chapter meetings across the country which you can find and attend for free. Each month’s meeting hosts a different holistically-minded speaker. Upcoming topics in our area are the importance of fermented foods on digestive health and best practices of a holistic pediatrician.

Filling Easter Baskets and Creating Tradition

Also, I’m really looking forward to arranging Easter baskets. For some reason, I love it more than buying Christmas gifts. I think it has something to do with the arranging and staging of the basket. The presentation is just so fun. I’m getting an early start so I can have my baskets ready in case a certain little boy decides he wants to be here for the holiday.

Do you know already what you’re putting in yours? What about the traditions you want to start or carry on this year?

One day soon I’ll have to share how we use holiday traditions as an intentional building block in our family culture.

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for being here, friend.

See you back here, soon.