Letting Go To Lean In.

Each new year, our church is intentional to set aside 21 days of Prayer and Fasting to help its members refresh their faith. It’s an opportunity to strip away the excess that has crept in throughout the previous year, sit still with the Lord, and seek the priorities He will speak for the year to come. Typically fasting refers to denying the flesh certain indulgent foods for a period of time in order to practice surrender and strengthen self control. It grows the ability to choose promptings of the spirit over desires of the flesh. However, fasting doesn’t have to be from food alone.

I have used the excuse that I was in survival mode, pregnant, or breastfeeding to justify not participating in the 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting for the past few years. This year- pregnant again, but finally far from the fogginess of survival mode and its subsequent grief- I decided none of these things should keep me from fasting any longer. I began to pray about what to give up and two things immediately came to mind- social media and sugar. God made it abundantly clear why He called me to each. Sugar being because I had an upcoming gestational diabetes test, and had gotten a little loose. God was bringing me back in close, helping me remember balance. Social media, well, that’s it’s own whole story.

It’s no secret that I have been in a long-standing battle with social media. I’ve been vocal about this on my Instagram. Throughout Savannah’s life, I gave myself permission to withdraw from posting- something that had been a part of my life since the introduction of Facebook in 2007, my freshman year of high school- in order to be fully present with her. Transitioning from full time work to a stay at home schedule left me with little screen time boundaries. I was becoming increasingly aware of the screen that separated me from the people and pastime I loved most. It started with scrolling during Savannah’s nap times, however- as she grew older and her wake windows increased- it had become almost constantly, even subconsciously, reaching for my phone. Deciding to delete my apps and learn a new way of living back then felt daring and bold. Millennials are the first generation to have grown up so publicly, and sometimes participation in the online world doesn’t feel optional because it’s all we’ve ever known. As I learned to step away, I found the soulful pace and selfless love of generations before us. Time I didn’t think I had before now opened up so I could sit longer with the Lord. Comparison melted away. Gratitude abounded. My body leaned into rest and my mind healed in ways I didn’t expect. I fell in love with my life with new depths. And that doesn’t mean it was perfect. My daughter was living on a heart transplant waiting list. Every day, the threat of waking up and having to rush to the emergency room hung over our heads but, somehow, despite this, there was peace. I knew what I was called to, and I walked it out with the pace of grace. In fact, I don’t think I would have come back to social media at all if it hadn’t been for the numerous writing conferences I attended- all of which emphasized the importance of an online platform to a published author.

This has been my struggle. I’ve known since I was eight years old that I was called to write in some capacity. What I’ve always loved about writing is that you can’t write what you haven’t lived. This hobby I love requires that I go out into the world to live and love well. Only then can I come back and quietly reflect on what I learned and offer that wisdom back to another. It’s a hobby that helps me continually acknowledge the purpose tucked within even my most ordinary days. Social media as it exists today threatens the very heart of that passion. Post more often, use trending audio, write witty captions, try to craft words that stop the scroll and stand out against the overwhelming output of AI generated content…. always more, better, faster. This is not me. This is not what I love, nor what I feel called to. It’s not even something I believe in. The question in my heart has been, “so then, how do I faithfully honor the call of God on my life but refuse to engage in a pace that threatens the very things He shows me to prioritize?”

As God called me to fast social media this year, I brought this question before Him. I told Him all about how easy it was to fall right back into the pace social media feels like it requires, and how certain platforms brought me no peace at all. Both creating and consuming short form content felt draining and like it deadened my attention span. In the margin and silence left by short form content social media, I’d found an opportunity to read more books and blogs, as well as to listen to podcasts, or sermons and educational videos on YouTube. Those longer forms of content felt like a more restful break from my responsibilities than losing track of time scrolling short form content. I came back to my family both refreshed and ready to offer back something of value. That’s when I noticed God speaking something in the context of calling. We’re to follow that peace. Peace is a person… the person of Jesus Christ. Learning to notice and let that peace lead is how we follow after Him (provided it aligns with the Bible, which confirms its truly of His Spirit). All of the longer form content I’d been consuming and refreshed by was offering me insight into the kind of content I personally am called to.

One of my favorite Bible verses is Isaiah 55:12: “You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.” I thought about it differently in that moment.

Life just looks different when you learn to lean into those things God has called you to. Even when- dare I say, especially when- they look so different from the way the world does things. Ordinary moments, once overlooked, become almost magical. They are animated with the sacred and holy awareness of eternal purpose. So, with that, I’m excited to say that what lies ahead for me is no longer a frantic fumbling between the hobby I love and what I think I have to love (or at least accept) as part of it. I’m not going to waste time writing to worrying about growing something that doesn’t bring peace.

I will be leaving behind any burden to post regularly on Instagram. In fact, Instagram will be only for announcing what I’m creating on spaces like this blog and, maybe eventually, YouTube as well. I will post these updates solely to the SoJourner Ministries account and reserve my personal Instagram account (@nicole.miners) for family updates and the random things which I do occasionally find joy to share. As of now- in this season of raising young babies- I hope to commit to a regular, though realistic, writing and posting schedule but I release the pressure to do it perfectly. There may be missed weeks. This is the reality of trusting the Lord for a new direction that prioritizes motherhood. Not to mention, walking out the process of publishing my first trade book and pausing my current writing projects when pages of revisions are sent back.

Whatever it looks like, I’m really looking forward to having you here, friend. My prayer is this blog will become the same source of respite for you that writing and keeping a blog has always been for me. I long for it to feel as honest, free, and restorative as it did to that teenage girl who simply loved to write but had never heard of analytics or algorithms. I long for it to be a place you love to come during your child’s naptime, a cup of something cozy in hand, where you can be refreshed and sent back out on mission with purpose anew by the time they awake.

So then, let’s start there…

If you were being honest with yourself, what makes the mountains and hills burst into song before you? What refreshes your very soul that we might meet to steward here?