Peace, Presence, Power: The Impact of Gratitude.
My eyes swelled with tears as I read her text:
“I just can’t believe this is my life, Nicole.”
How many times before had I sobbed with those same words before the Lord, written them in years’ worth of prayer journals, and painfully whispered them to my husband as he’d held me close and assured me we were together, and that would be enough. I wanted to list them out for her, to show her I understood the depth of her ache, and yet, I didn’t want to make the moment about myself either. So, as I sat there and prayed about the right response at a moment like this, I used the way I could relate to inform my prayers for her family. A family that had loved me and walked with me so well throughout Savannah’s life, now receiving a prenatal diagnosis over their own precious daughter.
Unless you’ve lived it, there’s no way to describe the desperate shock of watching the life you’ve been building so intentionally suddenly slip out from beneath you. It’s true none of us have ever had control, but it isn’t until tragedy strikes that many of us acknowledge it. Dreams you’re chasing get put aside without any guarantee there will be a day to come back to them. Sometimes the accomplishments you’ve earned have to be sacrificed. Planning ahead isn’t possible like it once was. Routines and community are lost as you step out of your every day schedule and into one of survival. Feelings of fear, of anger, of jealousy may follow but, always at first, it’s that feeling of disbelief that hollows you, like even a light breeze will buckle you at the knees. Your strength is robbed by a mind that won’t stop racing. You knew other families faced hard things like this. You just didn’t think it could ever be yours.
It had been nearly three years of living this way- 9 months of pregnancy facing a prenatal diagnosis and 2 years of living with my firstborn on a heart transplant waiting list, all throughout a global pandemic and the years the world was still settling thereafter- when I first heard God speak to me about gratitude. My entire life had been shaken… from my ability to continue family planning to my finances to every hope I’d once held for my future. My faith in Jesus was the only foundation I had, and even that faith felt shaky. I spent my daughter’s naps lying on the floor, crying out to God about how I’d ended up here. I was entering my 30’s, now bringing the trials of one decade into the next, and there didn’t seem to be an end in sight. Life looked nothing like I’d ever planned, and daily I was desperate to form a new plan.
One day, after coming to the Lord with all my grief again, I got up from my knees with an understanding that I needed to start growing in gratitude. I was going to miss the life I did have if I never moved past grieving the one I didn’t. I searched out scriptures on gratitude in my Bible and found that it was God’s will for my life to give thanks even here…
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
This command didn’t mean I couldn’t bring Him my struggles with it all too. Apparently, there was a way to offer my pain right alongside my gratitude….
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;” -Philippians 4:6
Soon after, I stumbled upon a scripture journal called Grace & Gratitude at a Barnes and Noble, and I brought it home to begin an intentional new practice. I would set time aside every evening to journal about one thing I was grateful for that day. It sounds simple- and it was- but it was enough that my heart started to change. Suddenly aware that the life I’d expected was never promised, I was able to take my eyes off the hard parts- the parts I just couldn’t get past before. I was beginning to see all the wonderful things in my life that were also never guaranteed but that I’d been blessed with anyway. I was developing joy- true, soul deep joy that is not rocked by circumstance but rooted in Christ.
Justin and I began calling the things we had to be grateful for our “simple joys,” or SJ’s (like our Savannah Jane). For a little girl with so much to overcome, she understood the heart of joy better than any of us. I always say I learned to live wholeheartedly from a little girl with half a heart.
It wasn’t much longer before we lost our Savannah- and while I praise God that He prompted us to savor every moment with her, gratitude giving us the gift of being fully present- I have also come to wonder if there was a protective factor in gratitude He was urging me to understand while there was still time. The thing is, you never think you’re striving when you’re praying fervently for healing. You tell yourself that it’s stepping into the boldness that faith which moves mountains requires. You determine to do anything it takes not to be one of the disciples included in “the unbelieving and perverse generation,” God rebukes when a child goes unhealed (Luke 9). However, when you do return to times of stillness, you almost always see things that weren’t obvious before.
“There’s power to accomplish His purposes in praise.”
Gratitude isn’t just about obeying God and unlocking the joy to savor our lives no matter the circumstances, though that would certainly be enough. God instructs us to be grateful because there’s also power to accomplish His purposes in praise.
1. Gratitude Moves Us Into Rest As We Remember Who God Is
Many of us know the story of the Israelites wandering in the wilderness. It took them forty years to make an 11 day journey because of their grumbling and complaining (Exodus 16). God had just taken them out of 400 years of bondage in Egypt. He led them with a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, rained down manna from Heaven to feed them, allowed Moses to strike rocks that burst forth with fresh water when they thirsted. He offered miracles to sustain them, and yet they settled for doubts that left them frail. After just a short time under the scorching desert sun, the Israelites had become so aware of their discomfort that they stopped believing for what had been promised to them just down the road, or excuse me, dusty path of rocks and burs. They were willing to take it all back, even begging Moses to turn them around for Egypt again.
The author of Hebrews refers back to the Israelites as he writes, “And to whom did [God] swear that they would not enter His rest, but to those who did not obey? So we see that they could not enter in because of unbelief.” (Hebrews 3:18-19) Here entering God’s rest is equated with stepping into a position of faith. The expectation was that faith should have allowed the Israelites to express gratitude even before arriving at the promise. God had already told them where they were going. Hebrews 4 continues with the reassurance that this rest remains, as does an invitation to enter it:
“Since therefore it remains that some must enter it, and those to whom it was first preached did not enter because of disobedience, again He designates a certain day, saying in David, ‘Today,’ after such a long time, as it has been said: ‘Today, if you will hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts.’ For if Joshua had given them rest, then He would not afterward have spoken of another day. There remains therefore a rest for the people of God” (Hebrews 4:6-9).
Rest is the most mature position of faith available to us, and it was the Israelites’ complaints that kept them from it. Losing their position of faith cost them their promise.
2. Gratitude Pulls Us Closer Into His Presence
I was studying the Psalms for my Community Bible Study in recent weeks when my eyes swept over a familiar verse:
“Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name” (Psalm 100:4).
At first, I smiled, glad to remember the lesson God had taught me on gratitude all those years ago. I still pull out and read through my Grace and Gratitude Journal from time to time, and now we’ve adopted the practice of celebrating Simple Joy Sundays every third Sunday of the month together online. Then I felt His Spirit prompt me to go back.
As I looked at the verse again, the words gates and courts stood out to me.
The Jewish temple was constructed within the gates of the city of Jerusalem. It’s design featured increasingly restrictive layers of access, moving from its own set of gates to various concentric courts. Each of these courts was accessible by different people from the outermost Court of the Gentiles (open to all visitors), to the Court of Women (Jewish women), Court of Israel (Jewish men), and Priests’ Court (Levitical priests only). Moving from the outside courts to inside the building was the Holy Place, where the priests performed their daily duties. Finally, the the very innermost chamber of the temple was the Holy of Holies which contained the presence of God. It was separated from the Holy Place by a veil roughly 60 feet long, 30 feet wide, and thick as a man’s hand (about 4 inches). Only the High Priest was permitted to enter the Holy of Holies one day a year to make atonement for the nation of Israel. If he had unconfessed sin as he entered, he would be struck dead immediately in the presence of a holy God. On this occasion, the High Priest wore a garment with bells so he could be dragged out by his ankles if priests in the Holy Place heard him go down.
God’s people moving through these courts and inner rooms paints the picture of drawing nearer into His presence. There was greater and greater intimacy to be found with Him.
This time, I had read Psalm 100 and recognized an invitation to greater intimacy in gratitude- from the gates to the courts and beyond. His Word, the physical invitation I’d hold in my hand and wave wildly to prove my belonging. My own passionate praise, the RSVP. The structures of the Temple I’m passing through, now the layers of my own heart which He’s placed His Holy Spirit within.
“And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: ‘I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people.” – 2 Corinthians 6:16
Gratitude pulls us closer into His presence, into places of greater intimacy.
3. Gratitude Ushers In The Grace To Let God Lead
Because gratitude allows us to remember and rest in who God says He is, and because gratitude allows us to grow to know Him more, gratitude also ushers in the grace to let Him lead then. To admit we don’t know the way, and to surrender our will for His.
And, when we give God room to move in power, it’s going to be toward those very same promises of His Word we were previously, desperately trying to stir up a purity of faith to access.
Matthew 6:33 illustrates this principle: “Therefore do not worry (complain), saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear? ’For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God (His presence) and His righteousness (His peace), and all these things shall be added to you (By His power).”
I’ve added some notes in parentheses throughout these verses but to put it even more simply:
The Peace of God + The Presence of God= The Power of God.
This is the impact of gratitude.
Sometimes the reason we hesitate to look for the simple joys in our story is because we think, if we stop to talk to God about the smallest blessings, like wildflowers in a warfield, He’ll miss the obvious bombing happening all around us and we can’t risk that. We feel like we can’t direct His attention to anything else except our most urgent prayers, as if His capacity was limited. We hold our grievances up to Him, desperate for help, but our focus inevitably shifts from His face to the problems there in our own hand. That’s how the grumbling happens.
Gratitude transforms us so that, even before He moves, we might hold up God’s faithfulness and find ourselves saying…
“I just can’t believe this is my life, Lord… my husband steadily holding my hand, my children singing songs of praise as they play, my home standing strong and safe and glowing soft and warm, my church family placing hot meals on the porch or calling to check in…. Thank you. I know You’re with us, even here.”
Don’t forget to join the conversation below and help us turn this online meeting space into a motherhood haven:
How does gratitude help you to balance both your current circumstances and your prayers for the future?
And what is one small step you could take this week to intentionally practicing gratitude toward God?
